Back In My Day…
We have either heard someone or been the person to utter this very phrase. Usually, following that statement is a diatribe comparing the past and the present. The elder may genuinely provide useful insight for the younger person. Or they are trying to make them feel bad.
Depending on who it is and what the criticism is about, it can be difficult to broach: Do we take it with a grain of salt? Is it genuine and valid? Or is this just another typical ‘old head’? Understanding their criticism sometimes seems paradoxical. Luckily, two tools that help are logic and reason. Looking at their words from a rational perspective helps gauge the validity of their assessment.
Discretionary Note: This piece is not specifically focusing on the critique of this current generation by the ones previous to it. It is focusing broadly on the criticisms of generations by their predecessors across time. (Ex. Silent Generation’s criticism of Boomers, Boomers’ on Gen X, Gen X’s on Millennials, etc.)
“We Had It Harder.”
Analyzing in absolute terms, this is usually true. The 1700s were harder to live in than the 1800s, the 1800s harder than the 1900s, and so on. That is how evolution works. We become more tech-savvy, intelligent, tolerant, etc. with time. For instance, communicating with others is much easier to do today than it was in the 80s. People simply text each other whereas, in the past, physical communication or writing letters were the only options. Culturally, society is much more accepting of minorities today than they were in the 1900s, which creates a wider net of opportunities afforded. It is easier for them to be successful today than it was in previous eras.
So yes, in the absolute sense, it was harder back in the day. For most aspects, this will always be the case. However, there are few things, such as academics and career mobility, that possess greater difficulty today. (Click this link if you want to learn more about the educational/professional difficulties this current generation faces.)
Now, in relative terms, this criticism is invalid. The obstacles and circumstances across time are different, but the constant is the mental approach. The emotions that we feel and the values that we uphold permeate across time. Whether it is waiting for a reply from your pager or your phone, both scenarios generate an impatient feeling. Whether it is listening to music via vinyl or through a music streaming service, it serves the same purpose: providing joy and excitement to the listener. There are countless examples and correlations across time that highlight the overwhelming similarities.
Relatively, no one generation had it harder than another. Nevertheless, the younger generation should always keep in mind that their situation is easier in the absolute sense. For instance, for those with parents that are immigrants to the U.S, be appreciative of the sacrifice your parents made. They left friends/family behind and dealt with adjusting to a new culture. We cannot fail to recognize what past generations endured to give us the society we have today. In that same sense, it is also on the previous generations to not undermine the obstacles of the next one. They are doing exactly what humanity has always done: work with the cards they are dealt with and improve from there.
“This Generation Is Soft.”
This criticism usually applies in both the physical and mental sense. In physical terms, we hear this from former athletes calling out today’s athletes (There is not enough time to get into that topic) or about the physical nature of treating children. Comparatively, there is much less physical punishment for children today than there was in the past. Most people across all generations can agree that this is good. However, there are still those few select people from the olden’ days who think physical punishment is necessary. They feel that the glorification of violence and a good ole’ beating builds internal discipline/strength in children. By that logic, we should encourage warfare because it makes countries stronger. We do not do that do we now? That is why the ‘soft’ argument in the physical sense is an absolute joke. It is a good thing that we condemn assaulting children as a medium to teach them values. It is a fear tactic that hurts the child both mentally and physically.
Now for the real crux of the ‘soft’ criticism, it is about the sensitivity levels. The more society evolves, the more accepting we are of people. Therefore, we become sensitive towards commentary that is rooted in race, gender, ethnicity, etc. That progression has been evident throughout time.
From up until the 1950s, a large segment of the white population openly made ultra-racist remarks and treated minorities horrendously. Interestingly enough, criticizing racial treatment during those times was considered soft. When women complained about their treatment in the early 1900s, that was also considered them being soft. See the pattern? Whenever we learn to be accepting of people, the word ‘soft’ will be thrown as a counter to hinder inclusivity. There will always be people who will bark about increasing sensitivity levels. These same mad dogs will criticize someone or something based on race, gender, orientation, etc., and mask it as ‘the ugly truth’ or ‘dark humor’. In reality, it is just their sorry excuse to express their bigotry and oppressive mindset.
One part where there is truth in regards to being soft is for this current generation. This softness is in large part due to social media. Everyone’s lives are on display. If they make a mistake, everyone can see it and judge them on it. Previous generations did not have smartphones or social media. Everyone around them did not have cameras in their pockets. They did not have to worry about their peers’ reaction to a post, an image/conversation that got leaked, their number of followers, etc. These extenuating circumstances are unique for this current era. So, yes to a degree they can be a bit more sensitive. However, learning to tackle these unique obstacles is also what makes them stronger than generations past.
To maximize our potential, accepting critique and learning from it is essential. Whether you are the person giving it or implementing it, criticism is only impactful if it is genuine and rational. It is pointless if it is based on outdated stereotypes, jealousy, or a false sense of authority. I will end on this note and leave you with the following quotes.
Every single one may apply to you. Or maybe just a few. Or none. To each its own on the applicability and validity of these quotes.
“I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man (person) to the thoughtless approval of the masses.” — Johannes Kepler
“Watch out for the joy-stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, fault-finding, and a negative, judgmental attitude.” — Joyce Meyer
“If you’re open for praise, you have to be open to criticism.” — Donovan Bailey
“If someone feels afraid to tell you honest criticism, then you’re never going to improve.” — Cole Sprouse
“You have to take criticism with a grain of salt because you’re never going to please everybody.” — Yolanda Adams
