The Social Battery

Tangents Vol.3

Won’t say their name for the sake of discretion, my friend from South Africa told me a while back he can’t go to the movies by himself. When I asked him why, he said he gets “bored” during movies when he watches them alone. That might be a plausible reason, but I doubt it tbh. Not to single him out — even though I kind of already did — probably most of us, feel some level of insecurity when we are seen alone in prominent social settings. It is like going to an amusement park alone or going on vacation by yourself. When we hear or see someone doing something like this, we often quickly label them as “weird.”

Before I continue further, do not think this is the Anti-Social Manifesto. I promise this is not that. It’s more about promoting balance and learning to be OK when you are alone. We should do the things we want when we want to. It shouldn’t solely rely on if our friends are also willing to do it as well. It is just as important to value our own company just as much — if not more — than our friends. We should give ourselves that space to spend time with our thoughts and feelings because that helps us better understand who we are as individuals.

Personally, the pandemic helped me realize the importance of placing yourself first and how beneficial that can be. Working out when I want, watching a show at my own pace, eating meals at my preferred time of day, etc. There is a certain freedom from operating within that frame that just feels awesome.

Also, I’m sure everyone can relate to the feeling of annoyance when a couple of friends bail on plans, and the whole thing ends up falling through due to 1–2 people. Learning to do things alone now and then lessens the likelihood of banking on the reliability and availability of people around us. The only person in this situation who needs to be accountable is you.

But again, a balance is needed. Certain things are way more fun when done with others. Also, there is only so much we can learn from ourselves versus meeting new people and hearing their perspectives/stories. So we should definitely be socially active and put ourselves out there too, but we should not compromise the personal time needed to improve/maintain our internal connection with ourselves.